This paper presents the results of a qualitative study conducted by midwife researchers into women's experience of new motherhood. Data were collected using focus groups involving 55 first‐time mothers and analysed using grounded theory method. The analysis produced six categories: ‘realizing’, ‘unready’, ‘drained’, ‘aloneness’, ‘loss’ and ‘working it out’. The core category, ‘becoming a mother’, integrates all other categories and encapsulates the process of change experienced by women. Also explained are factors mediating the often distressing experience of becoming a mother. The analysis provides a conceptualization of early motherhood enabling the development of strategies for midwives, nurses and others helping women negotiate this challenge.