The long and short of mistress relationships: Sex‐differentiated mate preferences reflect a compromise of mating ideals

Abstract Objective Evolved mate preferences have taken center stage in evolutionary psychology research, yet this literature has been fairly muted on mate preferences for extrapair partners. Here, we examined the mate preferences for mistress relationships (the traits that men prioritize in a mistress and mistresses prioritize in their male partners) and compared these preferences to those of short‐ and long‐term relationships. Method In two studies ( N Study 1a = 104, N Study 1b = 191), we derived dimensions of mate preferences through exploratory factor analyses. In subsequent studies ( N Study 2 = 219, N Study 3 = 101), we employed a budget allocation paradigm, where participants designed their ideal mates for different relationship types (short‐term, long‐term, and mistress relationships). Results Whereas men focused on fulfilling short‐term mating ideals (by prioritizing physical attractiveness) in a mistress relationship, women focused on fulfilling long‐term (but also some short‐term) mating ideals (prioritizing both physical attractiveness and social status) for a mistress relationship. Conclusion Findings indicate that mistress relationships reflect a compromise of men's and women's (conflicting) mating ideals and contribute to an understanding of relationships that are neither completely short‐ nor long‐term in nature.